Petter Off Dead (Dog Groomer Mysteries Book 7) by Chelsea Thomas

Author:Chelsea Thomas [Thomas, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-07-20T16:00:00+00:00

23

Fluffy Part Ii

Look. I didn’t feel good destroying Amy’s property. But a cat’s gotta do what a cat’s gotta do.

And what I had to do was convince Harriet that she was going insane.

The strategy was simple, really. I would employ a common tactic to create psychological distress by changing small details around the house.

Move pillows. Watch Harriet move them back. Move them again.

Turn all the faucets on just a little bit with my paws. Wait for Harriet to turn them off. Turn them back on.

Paw all the knobs on the oven just a tad to the left. See if Harriet notices and straightens them. Move them left again.

I thought for sure that would be enough to frighten the horrible woman. Harriet appeared mentally fragile, and I didn’t expect her to be able to withstand much of this subtle torment.

What I didn’t count on, however, was that Harriet was not easily perturbed. Sure, I didn’t think much of her intellect or her character, but I couldn’t deny that she had an ease about her that was just not shaken by average disturbances.

No matter how many small alterations I made to Harriet’s reality, she just went about her day. Humming a happy tune. Smiling. Petting Lucky, who by the way, had been completely won over by Harriet’s daffy charm. Now no one remained on my side. Not the mouse. Not the dog. I had no allies in the home.

That’s when I knew destruction was my only recourse.

I started with the curtains.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched a cat climb curtains. It’s not a natural feat for a cat to perform. The curtains are difficult to hang onto and the body weight of the climber makes it an uphill battle, in more ways than one. But claws have a serious impact on the fabric of the curtains.

Most people, upon seeing a cat dig his or her claws into any household object, have a relatively extreme reaction. But not Harriet.

“Oh, kitty!” That was her response to everything. “Oh, kitty!”

Oh, please!

“Don’t scratch the curtains, kitty,” she said, in a cloying, high-pitched voice. “Come on. You’re so funny, kitty.”

When that flaccid attempt at a compliment didn’t stop me from pursuing my mission, Harriet came over and I’m ashamed to say, used one of the oldest tricks in the book.

She clutched the scruff of my neck.

Why, oh why, do cats have such an Achilles’ heel? Supposedly it begins with our mothers’ need to carry us limply from place to place. But why don’t we grow out of this weakness?

As soon as Harriet had her grip on me, I went limp. She pried each of my clinging claws out of the curtains.

“Aw, kitty,” she said in the same saccharine voice. “You scratched ‘em all up. I’m gonna have to tell Amy she needs new curtains. Oh well.”

Oh well? OH WELL?!

Clearly, I wasn’t getting through to Harriet.

Lucky and Mouse had turned against me. And I was left with few options. So I consulted the smartest, most cunning cat I knew.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.